I must tell you about how my sonnet went yesterday!
When it was finally my turn to perform my sonnet, I thought that I was prepared...and I was. But I guess that my preparedness wasn't enough for George. Once again, he had me run around the room as fast as I could until I was out of breath and then when I stopped, he had me immediately slate my name to the camera and begin my sonnet. I was not a happy camper, and I even stopped and said, "You know, I really don't think the running thing helps me." He laughed at me but replied and said, "Oh no, I think it does, right Maggie?" Of course Maggie nodded her head in agreement because no one wants to be on George's bad side. Anyways, I recited the sonnet in my out-of-breath state, trying to take a deep breath and say as many words as I could before I ran out of each deep breath. I used my class buddy to maintain eye contact with. When I had finished, George looked at me and just smiled and then said, "May I have a hug?" I take that as a job well done, and I couldn't help but smile while hugging him thinking about how relieved I was that it was over.
Maggie and I FINALLY got to go to Sports Cafe last night, ironically on our second-to-last night ordering purely American food. We both got our pint of Beck's, a chicken sandwich, and loads of curly fries. It was absolutely delicious. Afterwards, we took our time walking towards Trafalgar Square and the Westminster area because my goal for this whole trip was to get just a few pictures of Big Ben and the London Eye lit up at night. Although the sunset was at 9:15, it took until 10:15 for there to be pure darkness. We stood there along the River Thames, freezing with no jackets, but just so happy waiting for the sun to go down singing "How Do You Know" from the movie Enchanted. After getting our pictures, we numbly waited for the next bus towards our apartment, saying goodbye to Big Ben and the Eye for...forever, I guess.
This morning I took pictures of our final walk to class. Today was "Sharing Day" so we basically did some warmup exercises with Charlie, and then some with George. We then went around the room and each talked about what was our biggest challenge coming into this program, what was a highlight of our experience, and what was our biggest success. When it got to be my turn (I was last), I said that the biggest challenge for me was letting myself be seen by everyone, as well as not caring what people think of me. Constantly, I contemplate my actions and words based on how I think other people will react to them, which isn't how it should be. On this trip, I tried to work on just letting myself be seen in whatever way that was (good or bad), by everyone and anyone. I then talked about the highlight of my experience. While most people mentioned someone they had met, or a show they saw, or a sightseeing spot they loved, I mentioned something that had been said in class the first week we had arrived. It had stuck with me since the day it was said, and every day from there forward, and I know it will stick with me for probably the rest of my life. I just remember Antonio talking about how we all needed to be spineFUL and not spineless. And that stuck with me. Just say yes. Do what YOU want to do and just dive in. There's a great quote that I have been thinking about a lot lately and it says, "I must be a mermaid. I have no fear of depths, and a great fear of shallow living." And it is SO TRUE. Especially for me. I don't have a fear of depths. I want to soak up every moment and every possible experience that life has to offer, and I have to stop being so afraid of what other people think, because a lot of times that is the only thing holding me back from going full steam ahead. So spineful, spineful, spineful. I am spineful, and from now on, always will be. As for my greatest success during this Dialogue, I talked about the day that I got to work on my sonnet, and the circle exercise we did. I just remember reciting those four very long lines of my sonnet and feeling the drive coming out of me, and the reaction on George's face when I turned around. I remember the feeling of accomplishment and pride I felt when I had walked out of the door of RADA that day. And to me, that was the turning point and the final success. Not the final taping of the sonnet, but that moment.
We ended class with a gigantic group hug, and it was so so so sad. We headed over to Marlborough Arms for lunch together, getting huge burgers with "chips", my new favorite strawberry and lime cider, and to top it off; apple pie. We had some good laughs with Charlie and George, and I made sure to give them both a big hug when it was time to go, to make sure that they knew how much I truly appreciated everything that they had taught me.
In class, we also discussed if we had any suggestions for future years or things that should be changed or kept the same. I feel like throughout the Dialogue, I had my criticisms on various parts of the program, but when it came down to it, it was absolutely perfect. I am so honored to have been part of the beginning of a new Dialogue program, and I can only hope that they will be able to continue this program in future years.
They also asked us if we had any advice we would want to give to future students going on this Dialogue. So I'll put this here: Don't have any expectations. Expect the unexpected not just the first day of class, but every single day until the very end. Be open to trying everything. The time and experience can only be as much as you want it to be, and how much you put into it, and how much you want out of it. It kinda disappoints me to see that several of our classmates only truly started to appreciate the program and the location this last week of being here. I have embraced every moment of this past month, knowing that it would only come once and I had to relish in every second of it. To go on this program, you have to be bold and "show up." Leave everything at the door. When it comes down to it, the people you meet inside that small acting studio will become your family, your support, your everything for the next month. They will be the ones who will truly see you grow, and in the end, they are the ones who are most proud. At least that's how it felt for me. GAH. I could go on and on and on. I am just so happy with every moment of the past month and I would love to relive it over and over again and I hate to see it end!!
I have a lot more to say, and I want to write a more formal goodbye to London, but I will save that for later.
For now, I am going to enjoy the less-than twenty-four hours I have left of this beautiful city.
Cheers!
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